Saturday, March 6, 2010

Hair loss low

Let me tell you a little story about hair loss.

Two months postpartum I stood up on one of my best friends wedding. Here I was sitting in the hair dresser's chair looking into the mirror and talking to the stylist about what I would like my hair to look like when she commented about how beautiful and thick my hair was. I proceeded to tell her my life story, cuz that is what you do to hair dressers, about how I just had a child and that through my pregnancy my hair has become as healthy and as thick as horse hair. I actually started lamenting that it was annoying me because it was TOO healthy. I said that I couldn't do anything with it due to it being so heavy and shiny and it would no longer hold a curl.

She asked me if I started experiencing any hair loss and I gave her a puzzled look. Hair loss? What is she talking about? I told her no that I have not experienced any hair loss and that I have never heard about this unfortunate post pregnancy circumstance. She began to tell me how many woman find themselves loosing a ton of hair after they give birth and that I may be one of the lucky ones who will not experience this. I nodded my head in agreement and said how I hoped that this was true while in my head I was calling this woman who has never given birth and has no idea what she is talking about a complete idiot.

Then month three hit. When showering I started to notice a few random strands of hair in my hands after washing my hair. I thought to myself... maybe this chick was not as dumb as I originally thought. Then I starting noticing hair on our bathroom floor. Then in G's crib. Then on my and G's clothes. It was everywhere. And like finding hair all over the place isn't nasty enough I began finding it in G's diaper . Fuck.

Oh, karma came back to bite me in the ass cuz I officially hit my hair loss low. After a recent shower where I washed my hair I found a rats nest in my butt crack. No joke. A handful of nasty clumped up newly washed hair traveled down my back and made a home in my butt crack. I wanted to gag and die. I officially hit my hair loss low.

God or whomever must have been a comedian. To give a pregnant woman thick beautiful horse hair when while expecting then he/she takes that away and some. Like I didn't already feel self conscious about my postpartum body I have to be suffering from hair loss worse than The Husband. Here's to hoping that I have some hair left at month five.

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