Mothers Day

My mothers day was just what the doctor ordered.  We didn't do a whole lot and that was A OK with me.  I spent most of my day on the floor rolling around and cuddling with Gianna and The Hubs.  It was nice not to be in a car all day long for once on a Sunday.  Usually on Sunday we are driving back to Hill Country from Hometown, a five hour drive.  It was hard and sad to not be spending this holiday with our own momma's but it was so nice to be just us with no pressure of the clock.  Usually when we are in Hometown we are driving back and forth btw the two families and then if time allots it, friends.  This weekend we said no traveling back and forth.  Its just going to be the three of us spending quality time together.  I think we all needed it.

I have been stressed out lately.  A ball of anxiety describes it a lot better.  My heart starts racing and I can feel the heat quickly shoot up to my face.   I can feel my eyes start to tear up and the lump grown in my throat.  Many times this anxiety begins when Gianna starts to fuss, and that is not all too often. Sometimes its when I feel pressured by the clock.  Need to get ready to be here or there by such and such time. Oh crap, Gianna just took a massive dump. Have to pack this up, make sure to bring an extra this or that.  Lately, its been happening more and more often for no reason.  I have to stop what I am doing, close my eyes and start taking deep breaths.

I am sure that most of these feelings are coming from the fact that our lease is up here in Hill Country at the end of this month and we still do not know where we are going to be moving to.  Plans may have changed and there is a high possibility that we are no longer moving to Chicago.  There is pull from management to have The Hubs move to a less than pleasant and semi dangerous area far far away from Hometown, an airport, or any semi major city.  This town is in the middle of corn fields.  I will not go into the gory details as to why I do not move there.  Its not necessary until we know for sure if this is what our future holds.  I am trying to not think about it or get worked up about it but I am failing miserably.  If this move occurs there will be a ton of tough decisions for my husband and I.  We keep telling each other that what is meant to be will happen and that God will do what's best for us.

So for my mothers day I spent time with the two people who matter the most to me.  My loving and supportive husband and the little girl who puts a smile on my face and amazes me every day.  We stayed in our pajamas well into the afternoon, ordered in dinner, and cuddled all day long.  Its a day that I will alway hold dear to my heart.