If you are of the male sex and happen to stumble upon this blog post I suggest you stumble right back out. Are you gone yet? Well, if not then remember I warned you.
The Bitch with a capital B is back. After a year and a half of her absence she showed her ugly face this morning. Yup, you guessed that right. I am talking about my period. I have been majorly bloated the past few days, weepy over sappy comericals, and having mad cravings so I should have known that she would be making an appearance soon but I was in major denial. I even mocked my friend Amanda when she said she was starting her first post pregnancy period. Yeah, Karma is a bitch too.
How can someone who has had her period since the third grade not immediately know that the symptoms she is feeling is her period? I do not know. Instead for a quick second I thought that I could be pregnant. When I went to the bathroom last night I saw a tinge of pink and I immediately thought implantation bleeding, and then tried calculating the last time I had maritals with The Hubs. Since we practice the all too reliable pull and pray method of birth control I figured pregnancy can be all too likely. What are the odds in Russian Roulette?? To add to my paranoia, seems like every one around me is expecting again, talking about babies or trying to make babies. Instantly I thought my card was up. A million “Oh, Shits” and “Nah. Couldn’t be’s” passed through my brain and I consoled myself by deciding if I was still concerned I would test in two weeks. Well, there was no need for further concern when I woke up and went to the bathroom the following morning. I got my stupid ass period. After a year and a half absence it was time to pull out the trusty old black period underwear. Tampex and I are Bff’s again. Where there is Tampex there is always her sidekick, Motrin.
I am going to try to look on the bright side of this all. I no longer have to purchase pregnancy tests once a month. I am like clockwork regular so if I am a day past 28 I know something is up. (Although peeing on a stick can be fun…)
For those who do not come here to read about me bitching and moaning but instead come here to see a ridiculously cute kid, here you go.