Testing and Waiting

On March 17 I went in for an ultrasound and to check my FSH levels. It seemed simple enough. I was told that they would perform and internal U/S to check things out and then draw your blood. Then in a day or so I would see my results on-line.

During my u/s the tech tells me the my uterus looks good and healthy and then moves on to my ovaries where she start counting follicles. She counts seven on each side so a grand total of 14. I then ask her what the average number of follicles should be and what the doctor looks for and she tell me eight or a total of 16. Not gonna lie, not stomach sank and immediately my brain starts going into overdrive. I can't help but think "Shit. Shit shit shit! I'm two short of normal. What does that mean? Can that be fixed? Two short isn't bad, is it? Shit."

When all was done I went to the reception desk to schedule my next appointment when I was told that they are still waiting on the result from the seman analysis. Thats when they dropped the bomb. The seman analysis take a few weeks and is not ready yet. They would schedule our next consultation to go over the results in three weeks. They want to wait until everything comes in, including the SA, before we meet for our consultation and game planning session. Basically meaning that we are again on our own for our current cycle and have another three more weeks to wait and worry to find out what's going on.

My blood results came in a few days later and I did what I'd like to think any normal person would do in my situation. I googled my results. I wish I didn't. My FSH levels are moderately high. From what "Dr Google" says RE's hope to see levels 9 and below. Levels at 10 respond well to medication. Levels 12 and above have a very slim chance to do well. My level is an 11. From what I'm gathering my body is entering perimenopause, or the beginning stages of menopause.

Needless to say I had a major freak out. Many many crying, and I mean ugly crying, sessions. I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm nervous. I never thought I would having such a difficult time getting pregnant. I always thought I'd have this big family, so I cant help but think and worry.....what if this is it?...what if my body is failing me....at 30?....

This Friday I went for my HSG test. This is the test where they insert dye into your uterus and Fallopian tubes and take x-rays to see if there are any blockages. Pretty interesting test to participate in, or maybe I'm just a nerd like that and only I think it's interesting. I got to see my uterus fill up with dark fluid and then slowly watch the dye travel its way through both to my tubes and spill out onto my ovaries. Which is a good thing. It means there were no blockages.

So now I wait. Wait for the seman analysis results to come in. Wait for my appointment on the 7th. Wait to find out exactly what everything means and how that translates into treatment for us. Wait. Worry. wait.